Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is behind us and Xmas and Kwanzaa is in front of us.  My blessings are many but I have lessons to learn.

Family is the hot button to many emotions that separate to close and open bridges of miscommunication, irrelevance, stupidity and stubborness.  My family on both sides, are a complex intricate intertwined rubberbands that stretch and snap.  I was speaking with a nephew and he has always been the odd man out but I find him to be a wonderful man with a great sense of humor and insight.  His brother is very intense so compared to him he does seem flighty.  However, how do we swim in calm waters to a peace when perceptions are so disassociated from reality or truth?  That is the dilemna I have.  If you have never taken time to understand the man/woman our views are preconditioned from rumor, history and neglect.  Each of us has a unique, creative story that is our life.  Our story is who we are.  Your mother nor father knows every nuance to the You, the adult.  Our parents mold, shape and hope for the best from us and for us but our landscape is arranged by environment, experience, errors and rejection.  Family start us on the most important journey...life.  If I could ask for one family value over all others it would be TRUST.  Trust that your family has your back.  Trust that they want what is best.  Trust they will love you.  Trust that they see you as important.  Trust that in the end of days they will be there for you.

Nia-purpose.  The purpose of this writing is to purge my demons of unrealistic expectations of family.  I accept they will not easily trust.  I work at accepting that they will one day understand that secrets only dissolve friendships and do not strengthen family ties.  My journey for inward peace and comfort allows for my continued personal growth.  We all long to belong to something larger than ourselves..that is why we want family.  When we know we are in are rightful place it brings happiness and peace.  I am where I am suppose to be.

To my granddaughters..thank you for being born and continuing a legacy of women in our family.  I return to you my peace of heart because I will not have the strong bonds that I have always hoped for.

To my grandsons you are my light and my dark.  Both of you carry my heart and my more heart.  I miss you, and I love you forever.

My sons you are the light of my life and the excedrin headache that never leaves.  In each of you resides a piece of me and your father and the best of both.

My nieces..I wish you all the best and I can say I tried to reach out and embrace you.

My nephews.. all of you are a fine breed of men that I am proud to know and respect.  Love your sons, treat your daughters like queens.

To the R R R R--Florida crew,  you are the best.  Four of the most beautiful women I know although two of you are confused as to where life will take you..you will find your way.  To the oldest R whenever I leave this earth I will leave you something special.

Finally, family is never complete without the KING.  Not only is he the
B E S T, he is the spirit of goodness most days.  In his light and love I have grown.  He has loved me since I was 16 yrs old and he gave me wings and sometimes he clipped them but he always did it with love and understanding.  For those who never understood our relationship, we do not care, we understood and that includes family.  Family members who ever thought he was a pushover, ask anyone who knows Big B and they will tell you the truth.  Get familiar with a man that 100 out of 100 would just say "he's a standup guy"  That is why I love him.